Alas, a Blog

This cartoon is less self-portrait than it is self-parody. ((Testing the footnotes plugin.)) It was conceived shortly after Joe Biden announced that he won’t be running for re-election, around when Kamala Harris announced Tim Walz, and like practically everyone else I was feeling very happy and optimistic. We might win! Look at all that joy! Look at this adorable video of Walz joking around with his daughter named – get this – “Hope”!

This year’s sudden soar from pessimism to hope was extreme, but I feel something like this almost every presidential elections season. For a while – if only briefly – I found a reason to like politicians like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden – even thought I knew perfectly well that if they were elected, they would do some things I hate. (Especially but not exclusively in foreign policy.)

Because even though every Democratic administration has done things I disagree with – things I’d even call evil – the Republicans are objectively just as bad, or much worse, on every issue.

(By the way, contrary to panel ten, I don’t do volunteer get-out-the-vote phone calling, because I did cold calling for a living for a couple of years when I was young and I’m still not over it. Instead, I do get-out-the-vote postcarding, but for this cartoon I made it phone calling, because that’s an easier activity to convey in one small panel).

When I thought of this cartoon, my immediate thought was “oh maaaaan, twelve panels!” But I thought it was doable and wouldn’t be a confusing mess to look at, so long as I kept the panels simple and clear. I’m actually really happy with how the comic came out, especially the seasonal color scheme.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon is a twelve-panel grid, with each panel labeled in large letters at the top with a month – January, February, and so forth. For this transcript, rather than labeling the panels “panel 1” and so on, I’ll use the name of the month.

In addition, there’s a tiny kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon. Each panel shows the same character – a fat dude with round glasses, a circle beard (the name for “a chin strap and a mustache that meet to form a circle”), and dark hair held in a short pony tail. Put another way, it’s my self-caricature, so I’ll call this dude “Barry.”

JANUARY

Barry, wearing a long black coat and a scarf, is standing on a sidewalk yelling to the sky, his hands clutched in fists.

BARRY: The Democrats are sell-outs!

FEBRUARY

Barry stands outside, wearing a heavy coat with a hood and (again) a scarf. It’s snowing hard. Barry’s arms are crossed and he has a “don’t try talking to me, I already know everything” expression.

BARRY: They’re owned by corporations, just like the GOP!

MARCH

Barry is wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a floral patter over a black t-shirt. He looks angry and is waving a fist in the air.

BARRY: F#&@! the Democrats!

APRIL

Barry is talking into the phone, smirking a little.

BARRY: Democrats want my money? I’d rather donate to cancer.

MAY

Barry is explaining something to a somewhat impatient looking friend (or maybe just an unfortunate person who wound up at the same bus stop, who knows?).

BARRY: We so desperately need a third party!

JUNE

Barry is standing in a living-room type room; there’s a window in the background, and an armchair. Barry’s talking on the phone, a concerned expression on his face.

BARRY: Yes, Republicans winning would be a disaster.

JULY

Barry sits at a table, head resting on his palm, looking at an open laptop.

BARRY (thought): Actually, the Dem candidates are pretty good. On some issues.

AUGUST

Barry is standing outside, in front of a stone wall lined with flower boxes on top, talking to a friend (or, again, maybe just an unlucky passerby). Barry has both arms raised in the air jubilantly.

BARRY: I still hate them but I really like them!

SEPTEMBER

Barry stands looking pensively out a window.

BARRY: Hate? Like? Hate? Like?

OCTOBER

Hi, I’m a volunteer for the Democrats. Have you made a plan for voting?

NOVEMBER

Barry, looking extremely anxious, is standing and looking at a computer monitor, hands pressed against the sides of his face, sweating.

BARRY (thought): Please please let the Dems win…

DECEMBER

Barry is walking on a sidewalk past a hillside. It’s dark out, and Barry is wearing a long coat and a scarf again. He’s talking on his cell phone with an angry expression.

BARRY: God, I hate the Democrats!

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

A woman is talking to Barry.

WOMAN: So you’re saying hypocrisy is bad?

BARRY: Sorta bad, sorta useful.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old cartoonist’s expression for unimportant but possibly amusing details the cartoonist sticks into the art.

JANUARY: A flyer taped to the wall shows a glaring bunny with a cigarette dangling out of its mouth. The text says “BEWARE evil bunny.”

FEBRUARY: A snowman in the background appears to be a snow alien, with three eyes and two antenna.

MARCH: Barry’s t-shirt has a picture of the evil bunny, surrounded by letters that say “evil bunny 1968 world tour.” Barry has a tattoo on his arm which says “I Have No Tattoos.”

JUNE: A man wearing a black fedora is peering in the window at Barry. On the wall is a framed picture of the evil bunny. A cat sits in the armchair, slouching like a human and looking at a smartphone it’s holding in its front paws.

AUGUST: Barry’s t-shirt has a drawing of the Death Star from “Star Wars,” and under the Death Star is a caption saying “Cici n’est pas une lune.” This is a real t-shirt that was described to me by Packy Anderson in the comments of a previous cartoon.

SEPTEMBER: Barry’s t-shirt has the planet logo from the covers of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy” book series.

OCTOBER: Barry’s t-shirt says “your ad here.” The place on the back of the laptop where the manufacturer’s logo usually goes has a picture of Saturn.

NOVEMBER: Barry’s arm has a tattoo of Beaker from the Muppets. I’ve snuck Beaker into a lot of my cartoons because I just like him.

DECEMBER: A bird in the air in the background has Richard Nixon’s head instead of a bird head. A piece of paper lying on the sidewalk says “Last Panel. Phew! 12 panels is a lot.” And in the background, near a tree, is the evil bunny, smoking a cigarette.

Election Year, Squishy Progressive Style | Patreon

This is another cartoon with a timelapse drawing video!

I thought of this cartoon after listening to a news report interviewing swing voters. The swing voters they interviewed weren’t stupid, and they all seemed likable. But they were very, very ignorant. Ignorant of policies, ignorant of what a President’s actual job powers are, ignorant of what sources of information are credible.

I can’t even tell you what news report it was, since I didn’t realize until later that it was the inspiration for a cartoon, and therefore I didn’t jot down a note for myself so I could find it later. And frankly, there are a million news reports and articles and podcasts interviewing swing voters.

Which is no surprise, because the question the sports fan in panel three asks – “what are swing voters thinking?” – is a question that dominates so much political thought. There are legions of smart people at every level of our political culture – journalists, academics, politicians, pollsters (of course), political junkies, cartoonists and so on – who are understandably obsessed with swing voters.

Because swing voters decide close elections. And close elections decide everything else.

Which is kind of terrifying because swing voters are, as mentioned, very much on the ignorant side. In 2008 – but his general findings still apply today – conservative scholar Ilya Somin wrote:

…In my research using questions from the 2000 National Election Study, I found that self-identified “Independent-Independents” could on average correctly answer only 9.5 of 31 basic political knowledge questions, scoring much lower than self-described “strong Democrats” (15.4) and “strong Republicans” (18.7). Many other studies find similar results.

Thus, the voters who know the least are the ones who tend to determine electoral outcomes. Not exactly a comforting thought.

So that’s what this cartoon is attempting to capture – an entire nation thinking about what swing voters think, while swing voters themselves barely think at all.

Drawing a high messy stack of papers is super fun. I don’t know why it’s fun, but it is. It’s one of these drawing tasks, like crosshatching, that logically should be tedious but actually makes me happy.

The rest of the drawing was fun, too. I’m very aware of my limitations as an artist – I draw better than most people, but I’m terrible compared to the cartoonists I admire most. But despite that, I get enormous enjoyment out of the act of drawing, and from looking at my own work once I’m done.

This is a common mindset among artists – you need to both love your work enough to want to keep on doing it, and hate it enough to be motivated to try and make it better.

On the whole, though, this is an awesome job and I’m so lucky to be able to do this. (So, thanks, patrons!)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each of which shows a different scene with different characters. Each panel is marked with a caption at the top: Academic, Pundit, Regular Voters, and Swing Voters.

PANEL 1

CAPTION: ACADEMIC

A professorial type, in a vest and tie, is seating behind a desk. There’s a wooden bookcase in the background, and a couple of “in and out” style boxes on his desk piled with papers.

PROFESSOR: There are relatively few so-called “swing voters” – but they decide elections! In a sense, swing voters are the real rulers of the country!

PANEL 2

CAPTION: PUNDIT

We are looking at a flatscreen TV. On the TV, a well-dressed woman in a pale blue jacket over a red blouse is smiling and talking to us. The screen graphics (a channel 4 logo, a US flag design shaped like the US) make this look like some sort of news program.

PUNDIT: Winning elections is all about giving swing voters what they want! And by some coincidence, what swing voters want matches what I want! As my uber driver told me the other day…

PANEL 3

CAPTION: REGULAR VOTERS

We’re looking at two people standing in a park: There’s a woman wearing a floral pattern skirt, speaking to us and shrugging. And a man wearing a knit cap is standing, looking up from the newspaper he was reading to address us. Both of them look bewildered.

WOMAN: I don’t understand how anyone’s “undecided” at this point.

MAN: What are swing voters thinking?

PANEL 4

CAPTION: SWING VOTERS

Three people are standing in a row – perhaps waiting on line – on a city sidewalk. A sandwich sideboard sign – also known as an A-frame sign – stands in front of the sidewalk, with the word “VOTE” and a pointing arrow.

From left to right, the swing voters are: A blonde man with nice hair, grinning widely and pressing a hand to his chest in an “I’m so smart” gesture. A black-haired woman with glasses is talking back to the blonde man, with a critical expression on her face. And a balding man wearing a striped izod shirt is looking at a “voter’s guide” pamphlet with a worried expression.

BLONDE MAN: I’ve finally chosen! I’m voting for the one with shinier hair.

GLASSES WOMAN: That’s stupid! I vote based on the weather.

BALD MAN: Anyone know what country we live in?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead cartoonists’ expression for unimportant but hopefully amusing details stuck in by the artist.

PANEL 1: There are four books on the bookcase with legible spines. They are entitled “Unread Vol. 1,” “Unread Vol. 46,” “Dull Stuff,” and “Even Duller.” There’s some sort of mouse-like creature with big ears also hanging out on the bookcase. The two boxes on the professor’s desk are labeled “Actual Research” – that one has a small stack of papers – and “Papers To Grade,” with a ridiculously high stick of papers.

PANEL 2: The Chiron text at the bottom of the screen says “Reading Chyron Text Causes Cancer,” and then in smaller print underneath, “Don’t stop reading, kit’s too late for you anyhow.”

PANEL 3: I’m not sure this even counts as a chicken fat, but when I was drawing the stones lying on the grass on the bottom center of the panel, I was consciously arranging them to look like the top of Homer Simpson’s head and big staring eyes.

The newspaper the man is reading says “SPORTS” in big letters across the top. The top headline says “Fit People Wearing Numbers Move a Ball Around YAY.” A lower headline says “TRAGIC: Juggling Still Not Real Sport.”

PANEL 4: The sandwich board says “VOTE” in big letters, then in smaller letters under that it says “if you don’t vote the fascists may win! Is that really how you spell ‘fascists’? That’s a lot of S’s.”

The man with the Voter’s Guide is holding it upside down.

A newspaper lying on the sidewalk says “The Daily Background” on top. The headline says in large letters “DOG BITES MAN.” Then there are two side-by-side photos, showing a pleased looking doggy and a frightened running man. Below the photos is the subheading, which says “Headline Writer Is Very Bored.”

Swing Voters | Patreon